If there’s one thing in life I regret, it’s that I can’t remember the first time I ever ate bacon (or cheese, for that matter. Or pizza. Or Nutella). But through the glory of technology, there’s a whole new generation of kids who will easily be able to look back on their initial interactions with food, glorious food, because their parents are armed with camera phones to preserve the experience in thrilling detail.
Presenting: a child who, we are to surmise, has never tasted the crispy, savory, wonderful experience of eating bacon, until his parents filmed him for about a minute, exulting in his newfound gustatory appreciation and rehearsing the name of his new beloved over and over.
“BACON! BACON! BAAACON!” he screams triumphantly, head tilted back, eyes closed.
At least he’ll be able to grow up and point out the exact moment he fell for bacon, while the rest of us just have to imagine it was a pretty great moment in our lives that we’ll never get back.
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