Here Are Some Insightful Things That People Said About The Theft Of A Jimmy John’s Meat Slicer

Deli meat slicers are expensive pieces of equipment, and useful ones if you want to run a sandwich shop. Police in Indiana are looking for someone who cut through the ceiling of a Jimmy John’s sub shop and took a meat slicer, the store’s video surveillance system, some aprons, and… that’s pretty much it.

Detectives believe that the burglar had eyes only for the meat slicer and the video system, leaving the cash register and other, more portable items behind. Local TV station WISH interviewed two Jimmy John’s customers, who were exceptionally insightful about sandwich-related crime.

“Being in jail with other criminals, you’re the guy that stole a meat slicer from Jimmy John’s, like, that just seems kind of odd,” one customer told the TV reporter.

“What are you going to do with it?” another customer mused. “It’s going to sit at your house until you find someone stupider than you to buy it off you for 5% of what it’s worth, probably.”

“I really don’t know what their use for that would be,” the police chief for Franklin, IN, said. “They must just like their sandwiches.” The chief has apparently not priced out food service-grade meat slicers recently.

Detectives are investigating the crime, but there’s a problem: If the burglar was caught on the store’s video surveillance system, he or she stole that, too.